Apparently you make a good broom.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
