yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
