did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
