You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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