what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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