hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
