It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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