Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
