And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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