Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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