he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
