Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
