It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
