I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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