we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
