gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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