Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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