he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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