You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
