This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
