and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
