Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
