thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
