Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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