Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
