Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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