I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
