Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
