So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You pole danced in your parka.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
