First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
