I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
