Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
