remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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