She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
