why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
