I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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