he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
