fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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