I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
