Screwed.edu
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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