whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
