I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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