Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
