I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
porn star boner night. come get it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
