do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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