Will you blow on my dice?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
