I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
