i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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