That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
