What a fucking waste of an outfit
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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